Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Coping With Uncertainty

 
Having a baby brings up a myriad of unknowns about baby and self and especially self in relation to baby.  How will I feel?  Will I know what to do?  Can I make my baby happy and contented?  Every new baby is a mystery.  Even if you’ve already had six children, number seven will have to be figured out anew.

While every baby is unique they basically have the same repertoire.  They get hungry, wet, poopy, gassy, excited, sleepy, bored, and sometimes just plain crabby for no apparent reason.  Each baby is a little bundle of sensory reactivity and every baby reacts to all of the above by crying. It’s what they do. 

There is probably nothing that causes new moms more self-doubt and anxiety than hearing and seeing their little one cry.  It cuts right to the core of our need for certainty and mastery.  But soothing a baby is a process of trial and error especially during those first few months. No matter how much you read or prepare for the new baby, there is no way around this learning curve. 

So don’t panic.  Don’t have unrealistic expectations of yourself and don’t be ashamed to ask for help.  Soothing a baby is sometimes hard and nerve-wracking work.  But one thing you can be certain of is that when it comes to babies, nothing stays the same.  They change and they change us.  Embrace the challenge and the mystery with acceptance and curiosity.

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